It Was a Risk I Had to Take
“If you don't risk anything, you risk even more.” - Erica Jong
So, I did this thing recently: I sang with a band! In public!
Why would you do that? you rightly ask me.
And all I can answer is because I've always wanted to!
I wasn’t paid. There was no press. The event wasn’t particularly special or at all personal.
I sang Peggy Lee's perennial favorite “Fever”. And you know what? It was REALLY fun. It felt like stepping onto a roller coaster.
I was just holding on for dear life.
My husband (seen on bass there over my shoulder) had worked with me at home ahead of time. But he could only prepare me so much for what it was going to be like to step up and try amidst the chaos of live performance.
But I had wanted to do it for soooooo long, that come what may and despite the nerves I had to take the risk.
I don’t use that word haphazardly either: risk. By definition it’s a situation in which one is exposed to danger. But ye olde Mr. Webster doesn’t define if the danger is real or simply perceived. (Our brains can’t actually perceive the difference anyway, so the nature of the risk doesn’t matter so much.)
From an objective perspective, singing a song in front of a group of people didn’t actually pose a physical threat. I knew that.
Whether abject failure or supreme success was to be the outcome, I was going to walk off the stage and drink a glass of wine. So, what was the perceived risk to me?
Failure. Embarrassment.
I caught myself saying “You’re not Peggy Lee. Why should you go up there with this? She was pure magic! You didn’t even get to rehearse with the band!”
I was stuck in a comparison spiral of doom.
Bleh! Maybe you know the feeling yourself? Personally, and probably professionally, too?
You see other people (seemingly) doing great things you aspire to and you think, “If they are so awesome at that, why should I even try?”
Here’s the thing: whatever it is you want to try, you should, because roller coasters are wild! (And probably your thing is less likely to make you motion sick!)
Want to be in a play? Open a business? Go back to school?
If you try, sure, you might fail. but if you don’t try you have no chance to succeed.
So, if you find yourself stuck in the spiral of doom too, saying things like:
“What’s the point in me trying X if there are 100,000 others doing it already?”
Or
“I’ll never be as good as X.”
Or even…
“This is so scary, I’d be better off not trying.”
Trust me when I tell you I feel your nerves!!
What the stomach fluttering/heart palps/clammy hands are telling you, though, is that you feel so much is on the line with this that you are sending yourself into fight or flight mode.
Should you fight or should you flee???
Get out there! You want to create, do, try and contribute to the conversation in your field or on your stage.
And you are SO CLOSE!
The thing I learned that night singing “Fever” - besides the fact that rehearsal is mandatory next time - is that your audience wants you to succeed!
Your tribe, your people, your family…your audience…they are pulling for you to win. They are proud of you for trying. They’ll support you.
Because no matter how much your instincts may scream (or sweat) FLEE, FLEE once you actually DO the thing, the power of that fear is taken away. Suddenly you have a foundation from which to launch and the next time will be easier.
I didn’t go find a random band and beg them to let me step in, of course. I asked my most trusted ally in the world (lookin’ at you hubbin’) and asked for support.
If you need support in taking on a new project, putting yourself out there, making an impact that only you can make, don’t hesitate to reach out to me here.
I promise the ride will be fun.
